The price of Hockey Evolution

If you’re familiar with Sports Radio in Chicago then you’re familiar with a duo that does middays on WSCR named Boers and Bernstein.  And if you’re familiar with Bernstein you know that he can be a polarizing elitist.  I do agree with Mister Bernstein on one point.  Let’s all stop bemoaning how expensive tickets to a sporting event are.  Look, I’m not saying I haven’t done it myself.  I looked at the prices for a regular season Hawks game in 2013 on Stub Hub and I was forced to make an instant choice between my favorite NHL franchise or the concept of paying the rent for that given month.  I don’t like being priced out, don’t get me wrong.  It’s killing me that I don’t have the scratch to see the boys with the Indian Heads on their sweaters vie for another Stanley Cup.   But it’s the way of the world.  It’s the way of the world and business is business.  Don’t bemoan it Hawks fans, with winning comes evolution.  With winning comes the need for more revenue.  Besides, the NHL isn’t a self sustaining financial entity like, say, the NFL.  This is the business of sports, ladies and gentlemen.  With winning and with success comes evolution.  When a franchise evolves the way the Blackhawks have evolved, supply and demand is inevitable.  Do I like the corporate feel that the younger Wirtz has brought to the Hawks?  Time will tell.  But the young Wirtz seems like an affable and competent fellow and who can argue with the results both on and off the ice.  Although, twelve bucks for a sandwich……. I’ll stop now, before I end up sounding like one of those nostalgic hockey meatballs who pines for the tobacco and urine scented smells of the old Chicago Stadium.   This post… sponsored by….. BMO Harris Bank.  GO HAWKS!!!!

Farewell Detroit.... it's been fun.....

And this is the way a great rivalry ends.  This is the way two classic adversary’s part ways before moving on to different parts of the NHL universe.  Brent Seabrook’s bullet sailed past the glove of Jimmy Howard and the United Center erupted as rubber met twine.  And so ended a rivalry that, for older hockey fans, became a rather familiar and celebrated part of their NHL existence.  Thank you Gary Bettemen, you’re official an idiot.  For the younger members of Hawk nation, this was your defining moment in the series knows as Hawks-Wings.  For me, there are too many moments to count.  The one that comes to mind now is pre Stanley Cup and pre Rocky Wirtz.  It was the days of old man Bill Wirtz, “dollar bill” if you will.  It was the days of the old Chicago Stadium.  I can still hear Pat Foley’s call on WBBM AM as Dirk Graham found the back of the net from the seat of his pants.  And I remember the lean days, when it seemed like the Hawks would never beat Detroit.  Those were the days when being a Hawks fan in your own rink was akin to being General Custer surrounded by a gaggle of Indians.  I should know, I can distinctly recall being shouted down in the United Center by Red Wing nation.  But now it’s all over.  Gary Bettemen, hockey genius, has given us members of Hawk nation more chances to see the likes of Columbus and Nashville.  Who needs to see Detroit and the Hawks go at it when we can watch the Hawks skate circles around a Columbus team that can’t get out of its own way.  Who needs Detroit on the marquee when we can watch the feisty but financially limited Predator and Barry Trotz treat a sell crowd out to a clutching and grabbing fest.  Thank you Gary Bettemen, you’ve just destroyed yet another cherished NHL rivalry.  First it was the Maple Leafs and now it’s the Wings.  Detroit…. I salute you and I respect you and most of all… I thank you for all of the memories.  Thank you, thank you, thank you.  See you on the other old side old friend.  It’s been great.

The past has its uses

Someone was talking about the past and whether it’s a good thing to go home again or not.  I think I’m somewhere in the middle.  I believe, in some respects, that the past shapes who you are.  Or more to the point, the people you’ve met in your travels tend to shape who you are.  Don’t get me wrong, I do think, on some levels, that some travelling into the past is counterproductive or just un necessary.  But I also think a little nostalgia is good for the soul sometimes.  I don’t think, honestly, that a writer can function without taking that road trip back into their past.  I don’t think, honestly, that a musician of any kind, can function without looking back to the past in some respects.  I know what you’re saying.  Well if you have to go back to the past for inspiration, then there’s something lacking in the present.  That’s a point that’s well worth taking into consideration.  In my futile attempts to be a writer and break into that elusive fraternity, I find myself going back to a certain muse or muses.  There’s a gal, we’ll call her D, who saved my life at a very screwed up time in my existence.   Without her, I can honestly say, there is no me because the me of right now doesn’t exist.  Without D, the me of right now is sitting in a box somewhere.  Don’t get me wrong, there’s a lot of my past that I’d rather forget.  There’s a lot of my past that I’ve blocked out because I can’t t reconcile what a moron I was when the world was within my grasp and I was so much younger.  And there’s a lot in my past that I cherish.   Namely, the people like D and one of my other muses; we’ll call her C.  Not only is C one of my greatest muses, she is one of the people I think of when I find myself unable to take a deep breath without feeling somehow inadequate.  So you see, reflecting on the past isn’t necessarily a bad thing.  But you ask again, what about your present?  Hey, I’m like everyone else.  I can get caught pining for what was just like everyone else.  I can get wrapped up in the melodrama of what I don’t have.  Luckily for me, I have wonderful people in my life like J and R who can give me sight in times of utter blindness.  Don’t ever change guys, I love you and I thank you.

The Old Major Leaguer

  I have a buddy who just turned 20 and I envy him.  I envy his get up and go and his initiative.  When I was twenty I had my thumb firmly planted up my bum while the world spun by me in a blur of self absorbed oblivion.  And now I’m thirty five (gasp!!!) and I feel like Crash Davis in “Bull Durham.”  Yep, I am now officially the old catcher bouncing about like that damn feather in Forrest Gump.  I know I know, life is a gift and not a privilege.  But come on, who hasn’t felt like the Road Runner trying to catch Wiley E Coyote?  In my twenties, during my prolonged blue periods, I probably would’ve put a bunch of stones in my pocket and sunk to the bottom ala Virginia Woolf.  I know it’s an off reference destined to promote blank stares and make me look like an intellectual braggart.  Trust me, get yourself a copy of “To The Lighthouse.”  I swear, you won’t regret it.  Now where I was?  Oh yes, my friend is twenty and he’s full of vigor and ambition and I’m the Crash Davis of this world.  Anyway….. this is not a declaration of self pity.  Well, it is… maybe.  Or maybe it’s something greater.  Maybe it’s a way of keeping my self from hating myself to the point that I can imagine stepping in front of an Amtrak and saving the world some occupancy space.  But I’ll stay I guess.  Because this big wide world needs its share of disillusioned liberals who wake up everyday, look in the mirror and then break down in despair.  I guess I’ll stay because…. Well….. the world needs its share of washed up back up catchers with a lifetime batting average slightly below the dreaded Mendoza line.  Resist Tyranny!!! Toot!!!  Toot!!!

The Friday Rant.....

It’s been a long week.  So, with your permission, mister and misses America, I’m going to rant for a bit.  I wanna know why Tru TV only seems to show African Americans doing stupid things like stealing cars and acting a fool in a pawn shop.  You’re telling me that my fellow vanillians don’t act a fool in public?  Does Tru TV really expect me to believe that only African Americans commit crimes?  In the entire globe, Tru TV couldn’t find a white guy to film for the Bait Car show?  In the entire globe, Tru TV couldn’t find a crazy Caucasian who happens to frequent American Jewelry and Loan and will stage a tirade for some camera time with Les Gold and his 105 million viewers on a Tuesday night.  Damn you Tru TV show the Caucasian car thieves and pawn shop lunatics some love.  (Takes a breath.)  I wanna know why Jihadists suddenly want to use an axe as a weapon of choice.  An axe?  Really?  You guys make bombs out of anything that isn’t nailed down; you have the element of surprise against us sloth ridden infidels.  Yet you enemies of freedom decide to chop up some poor bastard ala Patrick Bateman in American Psycho.  (Reads linear notes from Hugh Lewis and the News CD “Four.”)  Pause.  I wanna have a chit chat with God or the almighty or whoever is the landlord up above or beyond or whatever.  God?  Or is it the G Man or Gal or is it just “The Almighty.”  G?  OK.  Listen, I was wondering.  When you made me…. No no, don’t look up my records.  When you made me…. Was I destined to be a leading man or was the role recast?  I mean, I like being a mangled emotionally unavailable misanthropic lush.   I was just wondering... ya know… what the plan was for moi?  (Pause.)  And finally….. I want to know how exactly someone can create a treatment center that can “cure.”  Addiction.   So how does this magic place work?  Is it like the chamber in Superman where someone steps inside and the lights go out and poof…..? All of the genes that make people prone to addiction just magically melt away?  Resist Tyranny!!!  Toot!!! Toot!!!!

Hooray for Commercialism....

When you're young and oblivious you don't weight the gravity of things.  You simply view things at surface level. Never taking into account the given pros and cons of things.  For me, I watched the business world with a passive eye.  Corporations align, eh.  Nothing to do with me doesn't make ripples in my world.  Except now, the ever shrinking world of single entity companies and corporate alliance has forever changed the shape of a medium that I love; film.  When AMC and Loews got together, I was happy in my obliviousness.  I was all too happy to walk into a shiny new multiplex with a big red AMC logo on it and hand over my ten bucks.  Except now AMC is a self sustaining corporate beast that feeds on everything in sight.  And this corporate beast, born on the snacks of other smaller competitors, has created a one dimensional distribution landscape akin to something out of "Lord of the Flies."  Those with the backing of the Hollywood machine rule the jungle.  Meanwhile, unknown film makers with ambition and creativity integrity end up as poor Piggy did; dead at the bottom of a hill, a boulder squashing them from high above.  And that boulder has an AMC logo emblazoned on it.  And if it isn't bad enough that AMC controls an ever shrinking theatrical distribution landscape. The corporate beast has set its sights on alternative film competitors like Landmark Cinemas.  Apparently, AMC now wants a piece of a film market that it has virtually snubbed its nose at; that market being independent cinema.  I don't know about you but I love film and it sickens me when AMC has the audacity to champion itself as a hub for indie films.  Bear in mind, this is the same company that has made a policy of holding smaller and better quality films to a "perform or else “quota.  In other words, show me your film can make money or we'll have to make room for the mindless drivel that the masses usually eat up with a knife and fork.  AMC is no friend to independent cinema and they never have been.  But then again, what am I getting upset about?  Independent cinema is dead anyway.  Don't believe me.  Have you seen IFC and Sundance lately?  And please don't throw films like "Juno" or "The Descendants" at me to rebut my argument about indie cinema being dead.  I love those two films immensely but those are mainstream Indies.  There's a difference between an independent production that's financed by say, a division of Warner Brothers and an indie production financed by a novice film maker with a lot ambition and little cash flow.  Sadly, all of that corporate alignment that I was once oblivious to; I'm aware of it now.  I'm aware of it every time I watch what IFC and Sundance have mutated into.  I'm aware of it when newbie film makers who actually have a story to tell have no outlet in which to express themselves.  In closing, I ask this?  Is there ANYTHING sacred these days?  The Oscars are nominating raunchy comedies and opening their doors to anyone with the bare minimum of film related competency.  Sundance, once a grand alternative indie channel is now running fluffy exposes on some Carrie Bradshaw wanna be fashion designer.  I surrender to the beast.

Factually Fake Television.....

Here’s the reality?  Reality Television isn’t going away any time soon?  Not when it’s cheap to produce for networks hemorrhaging money like NBC.  Remember when NBC was a virtual factory for programming that people actually wanted to watch?  Seinfeld, Friends, etc.  Now their lineup is peppered with multiple showings of their own slick an d cost efficient knock off of American Idol and god knows what else.  This is the wave of the Future ladies and gentlemen.  It’s a TV landscape where someone pays a celebrity with an expiring shelf life to jump off of a high dive.  It’s a TV landscape where the line between actuality and creative license seems to gets t fuzzier and fuzzier by the minute.  Still….don’t you love the people who cry “fake” on shows like Hardcore Pawn or Pawn Stars or anything else Tru TV pumps out.  OF COURSE IT’S FAKE!!! The same stereotypical African Americans are always the one who act a fool in American Jewelry and Loan.  Somehow, Bobby and whatever his name is are ALWAYS surrounded by eighteen guys during a repo on Lizard Lick Towing and STILL… no one calls the cops AND they get the car AND they kick everyone’s ass.  Now odds are, if you’re doing a repo and there’s A rather sizeable mob of angry debtors around you…. you’re not just going to kick the one guy’s ass while his crew waits in the distance.  Odds are, if a show like Lizard Lick Towing were grounded in reality, Bobby and his guy would probably end up in a cornfield somewhere ala “Casino.”  What I’m saying is….  Everyone just needs to relax and take a deep breath.  Change the channel if you think the stuff on Tru TV is garbage or pure fakery.  That’s your god given right as an American.  You have the power to glance at whatever is being sold and then politely say “no.”  Now if you’ll excuse me. I’m going to watch the next episode of “South Beach Tow.”  Gee, I wonder why the driver stands there and argues when he can just leave and collect his reward back at the shop.   Now now… this is no time for logic.

The Chicago Way... Same Old Same Old....

  You'll love this one folks.  A few weeks ago, the Chicago Sun Times lead off with a story about Rahm Emanuels' sliding approval rating.  The Sun Times even went as far to suggest that Emanuel might be vulnerable enough to be shown the door at City Hall if his numbers are any indication of his current standing with Chicagoans. Can we get real here, ladies and gentlemen.  We, the voters of Illinois, do NOT embrace the concept of change.  Chicago voters can be best summed up by the great Rick Jay's line in Paul Thomas Anderson's epic film "Magnolia."  In other words,  "it what it is."  When Bobby Rush tried to unseat Rich Daley during a run for mayor, he basically did everything but use a bullhorn to scream into the ears of voters that Daley was an inept emperor unfit to lead the city.  The end game?  Rush got six percent of the vote if I'm not mistaken.  And Daley's ineptitude continued on.  You see what I'm getting at here.  Emanuel is NOT in trouble, Sun Times story aside.  We don't hold our politicians accountable in this great state, it's just not done.  How else do you explain the fact Pat Quinn was rewarded with a second term for being both out of touch and fiscally clueless.  You gave him back the keys mister and misses Illinois, remember that.  Remember the path you took, mister and misses Illinois, when the mountain of red ink continues to grow and grow and our great governor is flailing about, Magoo like, in search of a shovel and a flashlight.  Rahm Emanuel will be mayor of this city until one of two things happen; he either dies in office or the political winds sweep him back to Washington for a bigger and better deal.  That's reality, THAT'S the Chicago way.

Schooled in mo town....

  The puck sailed past Corey Crawford's right shoulder; a rocket that hit the net with enough force to send the biscuit careening back towards center ice like a runaway projectile.  The look on Crawfords' face said it all.  For Hawks fans, visions of Crawfords' playoff flop against Phoenix danced in their heads.  On a warm night in Detroit, the Hawks had no answer for a Red Wing team that seemed destined to show the hockey world that the rumors of their demise have been greatly exaggerated.  After watching Detroit frustrate and plain out skate the Hawks from the opening face off on, the Red Wings might have more life than people think.  Especially if Corey Crawford continues to be outplayed by Jimmy Howard and especially if the Hawks continue to look for the calvary every time they're physically engaged.  Or maybe this is a good thing, maybe a litter adversity is what every championship team needs.  But if the Hawks are using the old rope-a dope technique, the question remains.  Do you they have enough will to get up and fight before it's to late.  Past history, IE, last year's Phoenix series, suggests otherwise.  But who knows?  Maybe the pendulum of momentum will swing back to the Hawks and the order of the hockey universe as we think we now it will reverse back on its axis once again.  Or maybe this is one of those hockey occurrences where the old dog has one more lesson to teach their fiercest rival before realignment reduces them to mere acquaintances.  You can worry now Hawks nation, you can worry.

Everybody Loves Northwestern......

  It's a crisp but delightful autumn day in October and I'm with my guys at Ryan Field and it's a great matchup with Nebraska and we've got our purple on...... and oh yeah.... 95 percent of the crowd is wearing red and chanting "Go Big Red" as the Cornhusker marched down for the winning touchdown.  You know something NU nation?  Maybe you're the reason that Jim Phillips hasn't pulled the trigger on facility renovations.  Common sense would say that Phillips is afraid to go in with all new facilities because he thinks that NU will become the CFB version of The Miami Marlins.  In other words, you build it and no one comes.  Or in the case of Northwestern, people simply drive by it and then shrug.  Where are the alums with the passion for athletics who can write Phillips the check he needs to take NU's facilities into the future and beyond?  You're telling me that NU can't build something like the Gentile Center?  I simply refuse to believe it and I refuse to believe that an exciting team on the come like Northwestern can get outdrawn its on building when said team is fighting for a prime bowl game slot.  Look, I know the losing has probably scarred you there NU nation.  I've witnessed the Francis Peay area and the years when NU football was a tomato can that everyone would be licking their chops to play.  It's almost like NU nation, on both the grid iron and the hardwood, enjoys being miserable.  You're the suburban equaivalent of White Sox nation and by being miserable, you're missing out on something wonderful.  I implore you, NU nation, support the program.  Don't do that thing where you're saying to yourself "well, the good times won't last because it's Northwestern."  Take the ride, I implore you.  Now more than ever, your AD needs you.  This isn't monopoly that's going to be used to construct these new digs like the B Ball court and the new football field.  Jim Phillips is all in there NU Nation.  Are you? 

Does Anyone love Northwestern?

  It's a crisp but delightful autumn day in October and I'm with my guys at Ryan Field and it's a great matchup with Nebraska and we've got our purple on...... and oh yeah.... 95 percent of the crowd is wearing red and chanting "Go Big Red" as the Cornhusker marched down for the winning touchdown.  You know something NU nation?  Maybe you're the reason that Jim Phillips hasn't pulled the trigger on facility renovations.  Common sense would say that Phillips is afraid to go in with all new facilities because he thinks that NU will become the CFB version of The Miami Marlins.  In other words, you build it and no one comes.  Or in the case of Northwestern, people simply drive by it and then shrug.  Where are the alums with the passion for athletics who can write Phillips the check he needs to take NU's facilities into the future and beyond?  You're telling me that NU can't build something like the Gentile Center?  I simply refuse to believe it and I refuse to believe that an exciting team on the come like Northwestern can get outdrawn its on building when said team is fighting for a prime bowl game slot.  Look, I know the losing has probably scarred you there NU nation.  I've witnessed the Francis Peay area and the years when NU football was a tomato can that everyone would be licking their chops to play.  It's almost like NU nation, on both the grid iron and the hardwood, enjoys being miserable.  You're the suburban equaivalent of White Sox nation and by being miserable, you're missing out on something wonderful.  I implore you, NU nation, support the program.  Don't do that thing where you're saying to yourself "well, the good times won't last because it's Northwestern."  Take the ride, I implore you.  Now more than ever, your AD needs you.  This isn't monopoly that's going to be used to construct these new digs like the B Ball court and the new football field.  Jim Phillips is all in there NU Nation.  Are you? 

In search of an ever after.....

  So  it’s almost four and I’m sitting here at the desk and the worlds asleep while I’m awake doing some job that makes me feel like an even bigger failure than normal.  The self pity is funny ha ha, don’t be alarmed ladies and gentlemen.  And in the midst of a day where I’ve slept very little and I’ve been partially consumed by Sylvia Plath like darkness (insert oven jokes here) I’m thinking about the state of my life and the women who have passed through it at various turns and I’m feeling all Alanis Morissette like (turns on “Unsent” on You Tube.)

  To Meg…….The little brunette fire cracker with the deposition of Begby In “Trainspotting.”  I say that with love because you actually kicked a guy in the nuts for whistling at you.  I was there, don’t deny it.  Where the hell did we go wrong?  Where the hell did it all fall off the tracks for us?  It’s hard to feel a glimmer of spark for someone who’s betrayed you but maybe my stubbornness will dissipate someday and we can have our ever after or something close to it.  But alas, I still can’t trust you after you took my heart and launched it like Ron Burgundy’s dog in Anchorman.  I know Meg…. Megan if you will…. I make too many film references.  It’s why you ended up with me in the first place.  My door is open if you want to try again….. maybe…..

  To L….. Well… the sex was worth it.  And I guess we loved each other in our own way.  To many ghosts and to many insecurities on my end.  You were right though, I’m a slug living below  my potential.  I don’t if I’ll ever be alright but I’m getting there.  And I promise to never call you Lourdes in anger.  That was cruel I know.  But look on the bright side, I set you free to date someone in a higher tax bracket and that’s where you belong.  So… try not to drive the new man in your life as crazy as you drove me.  And if he’s bad to you in anyway…. I’ll kill him.

  To Jules…..Thanks for being the bridge between the greatest love of my life and self medicating despair.  And thanks for not badgering about my lack of ambition or all of the time I’ve wasted the past decade or so.  Thanks for sharing silences and simply “shutting the fuck up” and thanks for understanding the mess that is me.  God damn it, why do you have to be a lesbian?  Ugh.  I know, shut up Danny.  May you find your princess and may she give you your happily ever after.  Just, please…. Do me a favor?  Make sure the house is void of furniture before you cheat on her.  (Throws hands up in self defense) I’m just saying….  And oh yeah, I’ll never tell anyone that your full name is Juliette.  Mums the word.

  To Catherine….. I’m living….. I mean, that’s what you asked.  So I’m living… kind of.  Somedays are filled with self doubt and delusions of what I probably won’t become but it’s a process.  I promise…. no more sad Sarah McLachlan tunes and no more putting you on a pedestal.  I know I know, you’re afraid of heights.  I promise not to over idealize you and to write about you objectively when I go back to our past for source material.  And I promise to try and love my fellow humans, even though I don’t understand 99.9 percent of them and I’d rather be left the hell alone but that’s beside the point.  Where ever you are, I hope that you’re skating and living life.  And I hope you take the compliments when people say you’re beautiful because you always were; inside and out.

  To Robin…… I have no words to express my gratitude.  Thanks for sticking with a hot mess like me for all of these years.   Keep tuning out the static and keep being who you are.  BTW…. You’re not as awful as you think you are and that has extra meaning because it’s coming from a man with a self esteem meter in the basement.  You speak my language and you get me and you’re perfect and God damn it, you’re so married.  Ugh, I hate my luck.

  To Lefki……. Keep kicking, keep reaching for the surface.  The world needs more people like you, believe me.  Here’s to you, my fellow traveler in grief and here’s to you my dearest friend.  When we both see God or whatever is up there, we’ll both tell he/she to stop dropping safes on our collective heads.  You have much to offer this life my friend, never forget that.  Thank you for making many dreary days in a shitty place a lot brighter.

                                                Yours,

                                                The ever elusive ever after

Same old Same Old.... Chicago Style...

  My goodness, I hate it when I'm right.  Before the city hall mantle was passed from Richie Daley to Rahm Emanuel, I proclaimed that Emanuel was "Daley with a more polished edge and a better grasp of the english language at large."  Anyone object?  Anyone?  Anyone?  In a time of great financial strife in our great city, Mayor Emanuel has decided to give DePaul University three hundred million dollars to build themselves an arena near McCormick Place.  Emmanuel's pitch is that this will be the lynch pin of a potentially bustling development designed to lead to the casino that will eventually become the financial panacea that will ultimately sprout money like something out of a Brothers Grimm fairy tale.  Is it me or have you heard this all before?  How many times did we hear Richie Daley step to the podium and spout off about the "next financial pancea."  This is Chicago, the place where the people in the trenches prosper and we tax payers eat the loss time after time.  If Emanuel is going to go all in on a horse, then betting on DePaul is like betting someone's life savings on a glue factory reject.  At the behest of a friend and a die hard Northwestern supporter, I wrote this column.  To him I say, I don't think that DePaul's new arena should keep you up at night.  Looking into my crystal ball, I see a future where people will come to the new Blue Demon arena or whatever they name it and then after a few years of bad basketball the novelty will wear off.  And just like always, our fair mayor (insert name here) will parachute away from the sinking albatross and we taxpayers will get stuck paying for a brand spanking new bastion of reckless capitalism that nobody will quite know what to do with.  Do you honestly think that a casino owner of ANY kind is going to subject himself to the gridlock of Chicago politics to build a Casino on the heels of a basketball program that bascially sacrificied its competitive dignity for a yearly pay day?  I say no.  But I've lived here long enough and I'm a cynical sort.  I'm just wondering who the corporate sponsor for Blue Demon land is going to be?  Will it be another local fat cat with deep pockets or perhaps another nameless corporation looking to showcase their particular brand of whatever it is to the world?  In closing I say this... "plenty of seats available."

Literature.... Interrupted.....

  So I’m hanging out with a friend of mine when the trailer for the latest adaptation of “The Great Gatsby” flashes before our eyes like a trashy fantasia like soap opera of love and excess and well to do folk dancing amongst the excesses of that great enigma known as Jay Gatsby.  My friend excitedly proclaims that we buy tickets to Baz  Luhrmann’s modern day visual spectacle while I bemoan the dumbing down of yet another classic piece of literature.  Am I wrong here, mister and misses America?  Isn’t Baz Luhrmann the director who made Romeo and Juliet into a tweeners delight with all of the elements of teen angst and forbidden love tossed into the mix?  That’s the point here folks.  I’m tired of literary classics being stripped down and pulverized so they go down easier for the apathetic souls who won’t take the time to experience the work of the great F Scott Fitzgerald or anyone else whose name isn’t Stephanie Meyer.  Even if you draw the non literary souls to the book version of Gatsby via this flashy Hollywood update, one thing remains.  They’re not going to like the book anyway because they’re going to expect the same processed version of Gatsby that Hollywood fed them in the first place.  Think about this, mister and Misses America.  How does anyone learn to appreciate someone like the great William Shakespeare if they’re being fed a stripped down version of his work.  How does anyone really get to enjoy the beauty of great literature if it’s stripped down to its most basic form?  You don’t.  That’s my point.  You don’t truly enjoy Shakespeare unless you learn to navigate the waters and discover the beauty of his particular language.  You don’t gain an appreciation for great literature by going to Hollywood for the cliff notes.  You read the book.  Or you download or you read it on Kindle or you make it like a pizza, whatever form you wish.  Just read people.  Read the Great Gatsby by F Scott Fitzgerald people.  Read a little Shakespeare.  After that, you have carte blanche to plop down ten bucks to watch Hollywood dumbification in living color on a wide screen.  Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to finish my reading before the next episode of “Nashville” comes on.  Resist Tyranny!!! Toot!! Toot!!!!

To My Fellow Cynics

  I'm a cynic, that's been documented.  But I'm not here today to be a cynic.  I'm here to talk down my fellow cynics regarding this story about Angelina Jolie telling the world that she had a double mastectomy to try and save her self from the very disease, breast cancer, that claimed her mother's life six years earlier.  Already my fellow cynics are crying that Angelina Jolie is seeking camera time, that this is simply a publicity stunt of some kind.  Now, Hollywood is Hollywood and suffice to say, Miss Jolie has never met a camera that she hasn't liked outside of her day job as an actress.  I'm not ruling out anything here.  If Miss Jolie had this procedure done in the name of camera time and headlines, then I'll personally fly to Hollywood and deliver the "publicity whore of the year" award to her.  Here's the thing though, I don't think that this is all about headlines.  I think this is about a woman who made a very difficult choice for the sake of her family and her overall quality of life.  Surprising I know, considering that I usually cringe when either Miss Jolie or her other half open their yaps these days.  Yes my fellow humans, I think that a celebrity proved, today, that they can actually be genuine and not always so self serving.  Still thinking "publicity stunt?"  Fine, then ask yourself this.  Why would an actress, in an industry built on looks, made such a radical medical decision in regards to one of the assets that has made her famous; IE, her body.  What I'm asking you is this.  If Angelina Jolie and her PR people masterfully devised this plan for headlines and camera time by announcing her double mastectomy, then what was their end game?  It's not like Angelina Jolie had nothing to lose her.  Again, LA LA land is all about here and gone.  Those whose faces and bodies can't sell tickets are usually dumped off into the land of career limbo someplace.  To all my fellow cynics, just sit back and relax and let's take the actions of one of our more famous humans at face value for once.  I could be wrong.  Hopefully I'm not.