The underappreciated film genius known as Steven Soderbergh....

   I'll say it right now.  I don't understand you, mister and misses film goer.  Looking at the numbers so far, you virtually ignored Steven Soderberghs' newest thriller called Haywire over the weekend.  Critics have labeled it as an arty action flick so I guess that's why you stayed away.  Or maybe it's that label that Soderbergh has an "arty" director.  Maybe you simply read all of the negative pub that said that Soderbergh was trying to look smarter than everyone else by trying to reinvent the action film genre.  That's fine but let me say this mister and misses film goer.  You and countless others flocked to see Quantum Of Solace and Quantum Of Solace was an arty action flick that wasn't actually a Bond film.  Again, I'm stumped.  In the interest of full disclosure, I enjoy Steven Soderberghs work a lot.  I was one of the handful of film goers that saw his experimental film with porn star Sasha Grey, The Girlfriend Experience.  Anyway.... I'm calling you out mister and misses film goer.  You gave Soderbergh's politically ham handed infection film, Contagion, almost eighty million bucks but you ignored Haywire.  What is wrong with you people?  You poured out greenbacks by the truckload to give to Michael Bay and the Transformers franchise and Michael Bay's only skill is to blow stuff up.  LOUDLY.  You paid eleven bucks to see a bunch of indistinguishable CGI bots fighting but you won't see a smart action flick like Haywire?  What am I missing here?  What has left you cold about Haywire mister and misses film goer?  Is it the fact that Soderbergh makes films that actually have, oh I don't know, brainpower.  You shun Haywire and yet..... you filled the box office coffers for Alvin and the friggin Chipmunks.  What am I missing here?  Help me, please.  I don't want to be a film elitist here, but this is an intervention mister and misses film goer.  I want you to see The Girlfriend Experience.  And once you get that mainstream blech out of your system, I urge you to rent... say... Out of Sight or Solaris.  OK, even Solaris kind of lost me..... but that's beside the point.  I want you to embrace this visionary director named Steven Soderbergh.  I want you to notice how his characters have brains, how the dialogue isn't merely throw away filler for yet another gaudy special effects sequence.  For god sake, just say no when Transformers 4 comes out.  Just say no to hacks like Michael Bay and say YES... to visionaries like Steven Soderbergh.  I have faith in you my fellow film goers, I know that you have taste and I know that you want to be challenged.  Please, don't let my faith in you be in vain.  Strike a blow for this wonderful medium known as film, for craftsman like Steven Soderbergh.  Hell, don't only strike a blow for Soderbergh; strike a blow for directors like Lea Pool and little seen indies like Lost and Delirious.  Strike a blow for directors like Steven Soderbergh and indie gems like Guinevere.  I know you've never heard of it, only three people saw it before it left town.  That's my point  Please, tear up that ticket to Sherlock Holmes.  Run past that god awful mess known as Alvin and The Chipmunks.  I know it's hard but you can say no to cinematic schlock mister and misses film goer.  When it's late at night, stop and give that small little indie film a chance before you flip through the channels in search of that banal mega hit you missed in the theaters.  And don't tell me you've see Juno because Juno is a mainstream indie and that's another story for another time.  I believe in you mister and misses film goer, I know you can change.

                                                    Sincerely,
                                                    Mister Film

Cowardly Joe

    When Joe Paterno passed on Sunday I felt a twinge of empathy.  Hold on, put your torches down.  I felt empathy for his kids, having lost my own mother almost two years ago.  There's nothing worse than watching helplessly as a parent slips away.  I wouldn't wish that pain on anyone.  Hearing the reports of Paterno dying, I was taken back to a snowy Sunday morning in December; the day that my siblings and I tried to come to terms with the loss of our mother and the anchor of our family.  My own feelings of loss aside, my empathy for Joe Paterno goes no further than that.  I don't want to hear that he was there for his kids and his university.  Oh, he was there for his kids; the ones that made him the king of the college gridiron.  Oh he was there for his kids alright; the ones that made him the most powerful man in Pennsylvania.  The problem is, Joe Paterno wasn't there for the kids that didn't make his pockets fuller.  The problem is, he didn't give a damn about the kids that didn't help contribute to his ever growing power base.  I'm tired of the news outlets painting Paterno as a victim of circumstance.  His sins were self inflicted, he chose to be a coward.  For his cowardice, he was dismissed from his position of power.  Period.  End of story.  ESPN can throw its boquets at Paterno and everyone can pretend that his 409 wins hold water but here's the reality; they don't mean a damn thing to those kids that Joe Paterno failed to protect.  Paterno's 409 wins mean absolutely nothing to those boys who will be scarred for the rest of the lives because Joe Paterno was too busy protecting his empire.  It infuriates me when I hear stories about the sycophants in Happy Valley sweeping snow from uncle Joe's statue.  You know who are.  You're the ones with tears in your eyes.  You're the ones blathering on about how your so called Messiah did all that he could.  You know what you hero became at the end PSU nation?  He became a bewildered politician passing the buck.  Pennsylvania's feel good folk hero was nothing more than a self preservationist who chose the path of obliviousness.  Paterno chose to be oblivious when children were being victimized and needed him the most.  This is what you're mourning Penn State Nation, a selfish little man who chose the path of self preservation.  That's why he was fired, stop deluding yourself Penn State nation.  To the Paterno family, I offer my sympathies for your loss.  Let me say this though.  I hope, that when Paterno closed his eyes for the last time, he was haunted by the images of all those kids that he betrayed.

Confessions Of A Con Man

  So I'm watching the Clippers and Minnesota from Lob City and I see the ESPN news ticker flash across my screen with an item about the civil suit against former Syracuse coach Bernie Fine being dismissed.  Turns out, Fine's accuser, Zach Tomaselli, admitted that he fabricated emails to support his claim.  So not only I am worried about poor Mister Fine restarting whatever is left of his career, I'm worried about the twisted sense of vindication that will seep down towards Happy Valley and the throngs that support old Joey P and all things Penn State.  I can hear Penn State nation now as they light their torches in support of good old Jo Pa, Uncle Jerry, and the PSU program.  Well... if Tomaselli lied..... then maybe all of Sanduskys' victims lied.  I can see all of that misguided PSU pride bubbling up into an ugly cauldron of blind denial as they burn the Sandusky victims in effigy on social media sites or on the radio and television airwaves down there in Happy Valley.  Think I'm painting with a broad brush?  Let me say this.  Former PSU player turned radio host LaVarr Arrington expressed disgust at what Sandusky had "allegedly" done, he screamed for his beloved alma matar to be scrubbed free of the shame.  Fast forward a few weeks.  When Bill O'Brien was hired as the new PSU field boss, guess who screamed about a non Paternoite being chosen to lead the university going forward?  You guessed it, La Varr Arrington.  This is the mindset down in Happy Valley and it's both maddening and perhaps dangerous in many respects.  If you ask a member of PSU nation to read the Grand Jury report, that person will most likely recite Jo Pa's coaching record verbatim.  Look, I know that people want their fifteen minutes.  I know that people will sometimes lie to get those fifteen minutes.  I just wish Mister Tomaselli had picked a better time to come clean as a liar.  Let me amend that.  I wish he had kept his mouth shut if he all wanted was some camera time.  Sanduskys' accusers are already fighting an uphill battle trying to get justice in the state of Pennsylvania Mister Tomaselli and you just made their fight all the more harder.  I bet you anything that Sanduskys' lawyers saw the news item that I saw tonight.  I bet you anything that they're already thinking of ways to use Tomasellis' duplicity as a means of discrediting every allegation that's been documented in those grand jury briefs.  You want to be an opportunist Mister Tomaselli, fine.  Next time though, pick your spots.  Better yet, you should've stayed silent until the Sandusky victims had their chance to be heard.

Confessions of a bachelor.....

  Does God or whatever is it up that hovers above us put some people on certain paths in terms of relationships?  Is it like the lottery I wonder?  There are people who find their soul mates and live happily ever after and then there are guys like me who seem to have an aversion to any form of relationship bliss.  I mean, I thought I was on that path.  That is, until my significant other at the time, god bless her, informed me that she was a lesbian.  For the record though, it did make for great fiction that nobody wanted.  Anyway.... I've loved four women in my life.  One was an addict, one was suicidal, one was gay.  The fourth one is an absolute delight, understands me like no one ever has.  Did I mention that said woman is also married and lives in another state?  I guess I'm a broke ass Carrie Bradshaw; heavy on the Testosterone and light on the Jimmy Choos.  I do have a misses Big though so go figure.  I'll never marry my Misses Big though.  Heck, my goal is to remain in the same room with her for five minutes without having a stupid fight of some kind.  I must confess, it wasn't the fates that doomed me in terms of Misses Big.  No, I made that mess on my own.  I made decisions based on need in terms of that particular relationship and all hell broke loose.  Now everything is twisted and tangled and lines are blurred.  Then again, what am I going on and on about?  I'm not marriage material.  Why inflict that misery on a member of the opposite sex?  Besides, if I do eventually find a nice sane woman who isn't married or gay or suicidal I might have kids.  You know what that means?  It means that there's a good chance that I'll end up creating a bloodline of lonely hearts in search of relationship bliss.  That means that those kids will probably end up with their own Mister or Misses Big at some point.  Which means, I'll be bombarded by psychiatric bills.  Then again, perhaps my children, if I ever do have any, will avoid the relationship pitfalls of their old man.  Remember kids, always lay the foundation of your relationships before you have intimacy.  NEVER break this rule, your father speaks from experience.  You will regret it if you do.

Ode To A Departed Good Bye Girl

  What was it about that girl?  Ah, that question.  Asked by so many over the years.  I don't know.... sometimes you stumble upon the one person who can love you for better or for worse.  Sometimes... you stumble upon that one person that just fits you best.  You were it Kat.  I can see you now... rolling your eyes, a half smile half smirk on your face.  You hated the shortening of your given name and I enjoyed pushing your buttons.  I'm calling you Kat (short for Catherine) because I'm mad at you now.  I'm mad at you for not listening to me... (you never did.)  I'm mad at you for never believing me when I told you that you weren't as fucked up as you always thought you were.  I'm mad at you for not believing me when I told you were beautiful and for making me so angry when I found out that were actually capable of lying to me.  I'm mad at you for not knowing your limitations, for being in a place you shouldn't have been.  I'm mad at you for depriving me of our phone calls, for depriving me of hearing your voice on my worst days.  I'm mad at you for depriving me of your hugs.  I'm mad at you for taking away any chance of me holding you again.  And here I thought I would be the one to self destruct into oblivion.  Remember the bridge?  Remember those dark thoughts of swallowing mood pills like M and M's?  It was your fault, being who you were.  It was only inevitable that I fell in love with you to the point of absolute tunnel vision.  I told I loved you, you ran, I went crazy.  Again.... drumroll.... you never listened to me.  Not when I told you were beautiful, not even when I explained in almost painful detail WHY  I loved you for the umpteenth time.  I'm mad at you for all the Christmases you're going to miss (that was always YOUR holiday).  But with a smile and a squeeze you could always make it bearable, even for a cynic like me.  I'm seeing you now..... stopping to look at every light on the mag mile, studying every inch of the Christmas tree in Daley Plaza.  Each season that we were together, I would fall in love with you all over again and I'd feel complete to the point of sheer dread.  I never told you but I was always afraid you'd wake up one day and come to your senses.  We were supposed to grow old together Kat.  We're supposed to be sitting in a bar someplace talking about where we've been and where we're going.  I'm supposed to be asking you to marry me for the umpteenth time and you, on cue, are supposed to run towards the sanctity of the left coast.  I miss your affinity for nicotine (didn't anyone ever teach you how to empty an ashtray?)  I miss your glasses left on the table and all of your forms of general chaos and disorder.  To think, I always griped about the general apathy you showed towards any and all forms of Housekeeping and now..... I would give anything for one more stupid fight about that or the men you chose after we ceased being a couple.  I miss not being able to stay mad at you.  You could always break my resistance with your "innocent" voice.  So here's to you Catherine..... Damn, you did it again.  Catherine.... the menthol smoking gal with the deep aversion to anything resembling a skirt.  Catherine.... the two week artist.  Catherine..... the graceful athlete.  (I'm sorry I told you that I could skate.)  Here's to you Catherine.  Catherine....my lover and my friend...... (you ended it by the way... actually you ended it numerous times.....surprise surprise)  Thank you for fifteen years and thank you for inspiring all of that fiction that nobody wants.  Thanks for loving an old square like me.

                                          Yours Forever:
                                          Danial Alexander Ramirez

The Big Con

  At first, the firing of Jerry Angelo as Bears General Manager left me drunk with glee.  Finally, the Bear organization and its new leader, George McCaskey, had embraced the concept of accountability.  But as the hours tick towards another day, the picture becomes all the more clearer.  First off, the massive house cleaning wasn't done by George McCaskey.  No, he gave Ted Phillips the pistol and Phillips was the one who did the whacking.  Gone are GM Jerry Angelo, offensive coordinator Mike Martz and quarterbacks coach Shane Day.  Now here's the question that Bear nation should be asking itself.  Were these sacrifices made for the sake of simply looking official?  I'm reminded of the old saying... look busy and do nothing.  The Bears looked busy but what have they done?  Well, they gave the fanbase some scalps in order to placate them.  That's what the Bears organization does, it placates its fan base; nothing more.  If Ted Phillips really wanted to get the attention of the Bears fan base, he would've swept out head coach Lovie Smith as well.  Then George McCaskey should've lowered the boom on Ted Phillips.  Instead, this is just another shell game being run by the Bears organization and believe me, they're the masters of the old slight of hand.  Didn't we feel this way when Wannie was launched?  And what did we get?  We got Dick Jauron?  And when the Jauron era mercifully ended what did we get?  We got Lovie Smith.  Hoo.  Ray.  It's the same old same old.  Bear nation will be happy until they realize that it's just a con.  According to George McCaskey, Lovie Smith will remain the head coach and the power structure will remain as is at Hallas Hall.  Which means..... these so called winds of change don't really represent any form of significant change at all.  Believe me, the full depth of this con job will be revealed once Tim Ruskell gets uncle Jerry's old job as GM and the usual no name assistant is hired to be the offensive coordinator and or Jay Cutler's newest punching bag.  Real change means that the whole organization is restructured.  Real change means the hiring of a proven GM with an eye for talent evaluation.  Real change means the hiring of a proven football coach.  One, preferably, that is a true tactician and lacks that annoying air of self delusion that seems to be Lovie Smith's calling card in many respects.  Well, at least the Bears fired someone.  I was worried that the organization was becoming reminiscent of the film Office Space.  Then again, Jerry Angelo was allowed to stumble and bumble his way through nine years of wasted drafts picks and desperate free agent deals.  Only in Lake Forest is this tolerated.  But uncle Jerry is gone now and the Smith/Ruskell era should begin shortly.  I'm sure that Aaron Rodgers and Matt Stafford won't sleep a wink tonight.