A pal of mine has seen great things in Joel Osteen so here I am, a known atheist, trying to observe the Joel Osteen experience on a rainy Sunday Morning. Now I have to admit; I look at Joel and I see a nattily attired salesman. This is probably due to the fact that every five minutes, there's an ad asking the flock or whoever the demo is to buy Joel's newest book. Yes, there are the ad's for Mister Osteen's book and then the constant flashing of a PO Box in which to send dough to the Osteen crusade. So this is the man that is telling me to put my life into God's hands; a man with an 800 number full of tele marketers and a PO Box where the checks go. So if I put my life into God's hands by giving Joel my rent money and nothing happens, is the plan for God to have me live in a box until something miraculously happens. I find it funny that Joel Osteen preaches about relieving your mind of all things monetary when he preaches out of a church the size of three football fields. So let me get this straight. I'm supposed to put my fate into something I can't see.
So let me get this straight. I'm supposed to eschew all thoughts of what I don't have from a guy whose has no worries when it comes to all things monetary. Maybe I'd trust Mister Osteen a bit more if he ended his sermon and simply went to black. But no, the sermon ends and then there's an infomercial for Joel's book and the shot of Joel with two schumcks who are promoting their own religious empire. Maybe I'm just to cynical and un-trusting to actually believe in anything religious. I laughed when Joel mentioned God breathing on you and Moses with a mighty stick of fury ala Steven Seagal. I'm sorry, I just can't open up my mind to a preacher with an 800 number. For me, there has to be separation between religion and commercialism somehow. But hey, Joel does put on a good show. The flock was engaged and one woman was spotted taking notes. I guess God breathed on her and she found out that she was going to be tested on all the dogma being thrown about. Or maybe Moses threatened her with his mighty stick of justice if she didn't come back with a score of at least ninety percent. Actually I was considering give Joel's empire twenty bucks out of curiosity. But then I thought to myself; you get what you pay for. You can't get a total life transformation for a mere twenty bucks. I wonder if Joel supplies a Flo chart for the donations. For twenty bucks and a little belief, God or whatever gives you this. I'm thinking, the higher the donation the higher the results. I wonder if God takes money orders?
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