So here I am, sifting through the rubble of a relationship that is now over after eight years.
Once again, someone I loved pushed a very sensitive button and I broke out the matches
and burned down the mission. I wonder, fellow men of this life, are these buttons within
every member of the male species? Are all of us males prone to commit acts of arson
within the confines of a committed relationship when a nerve is struck or feelings of betrayal
are suddenly front and center in one's mind. I am my mothers sons I suppose. I can
persevere and love unconditionally and give everything I have to other humans but when
I feel betrayed, the matches aren't far behind. As I sift through the rubble of yet another
relationship gone boom, I once again ponder the concept of having soul mates in this life.
Within the ashes of yet another failed relationship, I wonder how I spent
15 years loving a woman without a single destructive impulse taking shape
within me. Those 15 years were easy, the rest....... not so much. I go back
to the memories of those years, that particular woman. Within the ashes of
yet another relationship gone boom, I feel that void yet again. I am my mothers
son. I possess warmth but I am coldest when reacting in self defense. Perhaps
simplicity is my thing. Perhaps my nature, though I defied the odds once, isn't
quite ready for yet another journey towards that Bermuda Triangle known
as a committed relationship. Perhaps simplicity is in order at this point. Now,
as I sift through the ashes, I applaud myself for having a friend with benefits
in my life. In 2011, perhaps simpler is better in my case.
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