There's a little Constanza in all of us......

  Raise your hand if you hate job hunting as much as I do.  Now now, this isn't going to be some piece where I bitterly wax poetic about being sacked from my last employment home.  The lesson to be learned is this.  When the company you work for thinks of you the way most people think of a cancerous growth, you don't give them the ammo in which to throw you out into the cruel world of the unemployed.  Not to get political, but I kind of felt like Bill Clinton during his impeachment trial.  My sins had come home to roost and all around me were a bunch of lions waiting to eat me.  Except, my hungry lions weren't republicans, they were Canadians.  But no hard feelings towards my former company.  None at all.  When someone pulls a "Constanza" nothing is more Seinfeldesque that hearing the head of HR fire you via speaker phone.  I am Constanza, lord of the idiots.  Or maybe the Seinfeld part is the fact that the people who used to write my checks were from Canada but the woman who fired me pulled the trigger from a cubicle in Louisana.  Maybe it was a sign from above.  Maybe the employment gods were fearful of me being unable to define where the hell my former company was actually based.  Maybe it was my destiny to help the disenfranchised citizens of Chicago keep their utilities on during the cold winter months that are common to the Midwest.  It could've been worse, I could've ended up doing the counter at McDonalds.  I will miss those emails from Aflac; the chick from the downtown office who tells me that I was born to sell insurance.  I will miss those email's from various Russians running various Ponze schemes.  I'll give you credit there Sergei, you're both persistent and creative.  One week you're a blind man who needs help with his body shop in Kiev and then the next week you're a wealthy businessman who needs help running western union wires out of a musical warehouse in St Petersburg.  Not Florida Saint Pete, Russian Saint Pete.  Or maybe there are Russian scam artists in Florida prowling career builder for victims.  Who knows?  But I digress....... I just wanted to give a shout out to Sergei.  Keep at it my Russian brother, my little email flim flammer.  You've got moxy my friend.  Yes, I will miss Sergei and I will miss the thrill of sitting in a day labor office with a large majority of people who barely speak any English.  To the lady at the desk who gave me freezing cold coffee and a whole lot of attitude, I thank you.  See, being employed again, I can laugh at this shit.  A few weeks ago I was sitting in a cubicle on a plastic chair drinking shitty coffee.  A few weeks ago I was sitting in some mouse hole inhaling paint fumes and cursing out a portrait of Barack Obama as he reminded everyone that it was against the law to pay any worker a salary below minimum wage.  I can proudly say, I resisted any and all urges to throw my cup of java/sludge at the commander in chief.  With age comes restraint.  With age comes wisdom.  Resist Tyranny!!!!!  Toot!!!  Toot!!!!