England.... we REALLY need to talk......

I don’t mean to harp on the birth of the royal baby or the next dictator of England or whatever he will be called by that travelling circus of wealth and privilege he was born into but have the commoners in England lost their friggin minds?  I wake up from my pre shift slumber to see video of a few citizens of England popping champagne in a pub honor of an occasion that will not enrich their lives in any meaningful way.  These people even brought a horse into the mix.  Yes, a horse.  Apparently, the horse was dubbed the unofficial royal mascot of royal baby gate or Kategate or whatever the hell else you want to call this sad spectacle.   Let me talk to you for a second, good citizens of London and the UK at large.  It’s a baby.  That means that it pees and poops and pukes and does all the things that other babies do.  Except this baby will probably grow up to be a prince that half of England will be bitching about when it takes its rightful place on the throne as a full grown adult.  This situation is so absurd that it begs to be satirized on an absolutely unmerciful level.  In America it’s even worse.  NBC and its enquirer like news magazine aka Today, spent sixty minutes on what the hell the royal baby would be named.  Sixty minutes, ladies and gentlemen.  One whole hour.  And how many friggin royal historians do our television networks employ anyway?   We had three or four on FNC and there was one on the Today Show.  If we’re going to have meaningless coverage of a ridiculously banal spectacle why wasn’t Ryan Seacrest dubbed as a royal historian for this here occasion?  Why not have Ryan Seacrest interview the horse and get his thoughts on the royal birth.  Now that’s great television, ladies and gentlemen.  Seriously though, I’m worried about the collective IQ of our planet when we the birth of a celebrity baby we will only know from afar sends everyone into a collective tizzy.  Are we that disconnected?  Are we that desperate, as a society that we have to delude ourselves into thinking that we actually matter to someone in the public eye?  What does it say about our media when Nelson Mandela’s health crisis gets less coverage than this ridiculous spectacle in England?  I bet you anything that when Nelson Mandela leaves the planet he’ll be lucky to get five minutes on The Today Show because god bless em, they have to spend time telling us about us the latest fashion trends and which celebrities are currently dating one another.   Do you realize that Corey Monteith’s overdose got more coverage than Nelson Mandela’s health scare?   Eh, Mandela only spent twenty seven years in prison.  He only represents things like courage and dignity and sheer resolve.  But damn it, the world at large needs to hear Lea Michele’s thoughts on the death of her co star on Glee.  And we need to know there’s a heroin epidemic amongst the younger stars in Hollywood.  This is in spite of the fact that Hollywood has always had a drug epidemic of some kind.  Oh how we forgot young River Phoenix or Brad Renfro, just to name a few.  Good night America.  Resist Tyranny!!!  Toot!!!  Toot!!!