The past has its uses

Someone was talking about the past and whether it’s a good thing to go home again or not.  I think I’m somewhere in the middle.  I believe, in some respects, that the past shapes who you are.  Or more to the point, the people you’ve met in your travels tend to shape who you are.  Don’t get me wrong, I do think, on some levels, that some travelling into the past is counterproductive or just un necessary.  But I also think a little nostalgia is good for the soul sometimes.  I don’t think, honestly, that a writer can function without taking that road trip back into their past.  I don’t think, honestly, that a musician of any kind, can function without looking back to the past in some respects.  I know what you’re saying.  Well if you have to go back to the past for inspiration, then there’s something lacking in the present.  That’s a point that’s well worth taking into consideration.  In my futile attempts to be a writer and break into that elusive fraternity, I find myself going back to a certain muse or muses.  There’s a gal, we’ll call her D, who saved my life at a very screwed up time in my existence.   Without her, I can honestly say, there is no me because the me of right now doesn’t exist.  Without D, the me of right now is sitting in a box somewhere.  Don’t get me wrong, there’s a lot of my past that I’d rather forget.  There’s a lot of my past that I’ve blocked out because I can’t t reconcile what a moron I was when the world was within my grasp and I was so much younger.  And there’s a lot in my past that I cherish.   Namely, the people like D and one of my other muses; we’ll call her C.  Not only is C one of my greatest muses, she is one of the people I think of when I find myself unable to take a deep breath without feeling somehow inadequate.  So you see, reflecting on the past isn’t necessarily a bad thing.  But you ask again, what about your present?  Hey, I’m like everyone else.  I can get caught pining for what was just like everyone else.  I can get wrapped up in the melodrama of what I don’t have.  Luckily for me, I have wonderful people in my life like J and R who can give me sight in times of utter blindness.  Don’t ever change guys, I love you and I thank you.