It’s been a long week. So, with your permission, mister and misses America, I’m going to rant for a bit. I wanna know why Tru TV only seems to show African Americans doing stupid things like stealing cars and acting a fool in a pawn shop. You’re telling me that my fellow vanillians don’t act a fool in public? Does Tru TV really expect me to believe that only African Americans commit crimes? In the entire globe, Tru TV couldn’t find a white guy to film for the Bait Car show? In the entire globe, Tru TV couldn’t find a crazy Caucasian who happens to frequent American Jewelry and Loan and will stage a tirade for some camera time with Les Gold and his 105 million viewers on a Tuesday night. Damn you Tru TV show the Caucasian car thieves and pawn shop lunatics some love. (Takes a breath.) I wanna know why Jihadists suddenly want to use an axe as a weapon of choice. An axe? Really? You guys make bombs out of anything that isn’t nailed down; you have the element of surprise against us sloth ridden infidels. Yet you enemies of freedom decide to chop up some poor bastard ala Patrick Bateman in American Psycho. (Reads linear notes from Hugh Lewis and the News CD “Four.”) Pause. I wanna have a chit chat with God or the almighty or whoever is the landlord up above or beyond or whatever. God? Or is it the G Man or Gal or is it just “The Almighty.” G? OK. Listen, I was wondering. When you made me…. No no, don’t look up my records. When you made me…. Was I destined to be a leading man or was the role recast? I mean, I like being a mangled emotionally unavailable misanthropic lush. I was just wondering... ya know… what the plan was for moi? (Pause.) And finally….. I want to know how exactly someone can create a treatment center that can “cure.” Addiction. So how does this magic place work? Is it like the chamber in Superman where someone steps inside and the lights go out and poof…..? All of the genes that make people prone to addiction just magically melt away? Resist Tyranny!!! Toot!!! Toot!!!!
1 comment:
If you want to see crazy white people acting stupid for money, please see Jerry Springer, Maury, any show with the word Hillbilly, Texas, Swamp, or Guns in the title.
Nice blog, keep up the good work.
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